Awkward…

Throughout my five months here in Nicaragua I have encountered, caused, and been victim to plenty of awkward moments. I am still learning the Spanish language and have yet to learn the direct translation of the commonly used in the USA, English word, Awkward. Google translate and my Spanish dictionaries give me some translations but none are used by Nicas and used to mean other things here. Therefore, I and other PCVs I know have concluded that there is no direct translation for that awkward feeling that creeps up when things just are not right and you’re at a loss for words, but know that your friends will laugh when you tell them about your awkward moment or feel awkward themselves at your expense. The Nicaraguan Spanish vocabulary is in need of the word for awkward and my top 2 awkward moments prove it. Enjoy and please laugh along with me.

1.       After vomiting all night, experiencing massive stomach cramps, and watery stools, I assume I have a parasite and need to go to the laboratory to get a stool test done. I go to the lab for the test and submit my sample in the only bathroom there. The bathroom shares an entrance with the waiting room that is filled with sick people like me waiting to submit, urine tests, stool tests, or blood tests. Therefore coming out the bathroom, with a cup in a plastic bag eliminates the blood test option. Grossed out yet? Yes? Good. So right after I hand my stool sample off to the nurse, I sit down. A Nicaraguan man about my age, maybe younger is sitting beside me and he starts to hit on me. Really? You know what I just did and I know you’re in to get tested for something gross too. And you’re trying to get a date!?! Really?! Awkward!  To make this awkward moment even more special is the fact that he was wearing a white t-shirt with his own photo (stoic facial expression and all) printed on it. He looked better in the photo.
 
2.       First month of training. Spanish class in my homestay families living room and we are learning medical terms and slang terms for body parts in Spanish because we are health workers of course. In training, classes were in 100% Spanish also. Our Profe, says the phrase “La barba de Fidel.” Knowing that “barba” means beard, and knowing who Fidel Castro is, I assumed that she was talking about Fidel Castro’s hideous beard. So I innocently ask, “I don’t understand how men eat with those in way!?! How?” Immediately, my follow trainees bust our laughing and my profe’s face turns bright red. I sat there dumbfounded until my friend Alex was able to stop laughing hard enough to say “That is slang for, a woman’s big bush!” Realizing the horrible mistake I’ve made in Spanish, I bust out laughing until I cry while the feeling of awkwardness and mortification take over.
 
Hope you got a laugh out of these! 

Flu, hopefully not Dengue ramblings

Maybe it’s the fever, the flu medicine, or my cynical, over-analytical nature but I can’t help but question my purpose and impact here. After all, I am a foreigner coming into another sovereign nation with a completely separate culture and different language brought here on the promise that I can teach something new. On paper, I look qualified and promising having a Bachelor’s in International Studies, undergraduate minor in Spanish, Graduate Certificate in Global Health, and Master’s degree in International Development. And I do believe, that my time spent studying the world’s problems, no matter how depressing it was (seriously, I had a slideshow of puppy pictures I’d go to during some of my research) that I am prepared on an academic level to do this work. But these degrees and majority of classes were earned in a western institution with western values and mostly western viewpoints. I never found any of the classes within my major boring and excelled more in them because of that. I am still what I was before, an outsider looking in. Except then, I was an outsider among other outsiders. Now, I am trying my best to apply learned knowledge to help others, to improve the health of the community in which I have been placed Somoto, Nicaragua. Thankfully, Peace Corps Nicaragua’s health sector is paired with the Nicaraguan Ministry of Health so I am working alongside a Nicaraguan counterpart and out of the city’s health center. Therefore, I’m not some rogue America going at this alone. At this point I am still learning more than I am teaching. I know this is essential to my success here which I am also unsure how to measure that and I do have until April 2014 (gulp) to accomplish something impactful and hopefully sustainable.

One of my worries comes from my love I have for another part of the world. I must confess, whenever up to my choice, I chose African countries and African specific issues to focus on in school. Hell, I even chose to go to Kenya to study abroad when most students were going to Australia and Spain. With all its challenges, including the times where I felt frozen stiff with shock at some of the extreme poverty I saw, I loved Kenya and my time there with every fiber of my body and want to return more than anything. It is the absolute truth when I say that I learned more about myself, life, and the world in general in those few months I spent in Kenya. For Peace Corps, I wanted to be placed in Sub Saharan Africa and probably ruined my chances of going there by saying so in my interviews. In school, we learned that a lot of development models failed because the people trying to help applied a one size fits all mentality to all developing nations.Yes, Kenya and Nicaragua are both poor but that is one of the few things these countries have in common. In Kenya, I met Kenyans who viewed Aid workers and foreign non-profit organizations as neo-colonialism which hurt to hear but must admit is a valid concern. Does my previous obsession with Africa hurt my ability to work in Latin America? Maybe if I spent more time writing papers on Central America, I would not be writing this blog post.

At the end of the day, after giving health presentations in Spanish, and trying to form relationships within my community, I return to my humble abode and feel guilty not proud, not selfless. Although, I know it doesn’t serve my purpose here and helps no one. But the acknowledgement of all the privilege I was born with for the sole reason of being born within the borders of the United States is enough to put a pit in any North American’s stomach. Privileges like free education up until age 18, a trustworthy and efficient police force, reproductive choice, clean running water, electricity, good roads, and so much more. But most of all is the guilt that knowing in 2 years I have the privilege to return to all of the luxuries and conveniences of the USA while the majority of the world’s population lives in poverty. Also considering forgoing these amenities by choice is condescending by itself. 

Maybe my sister is right about me thinking too much and being too hard on myself. But self reflection for all foreigners abroad is necessary and hope that more share my concerns and are willing to question their presence abroad. I am certain that everything I have started here and will continue to do will be with my best effort and earnest ambition to do good. With all my heart and every cell within me, my intentions are nothing but good. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions and mine are nothing but that, what exactly am I paving right now? Only time will tell.

Living conditions: a tad uncomfortable, an abundance of bugs, and a smile

Most people associate Peace Corps with deplorable living conditions. While I can admit that they are neither luxurious nor bug free and I must confess that I am on the more spoiled end of Peace Corps Volunteers, like having a sometimes flushing toilet instead of a latrine. However, I can confirm that they are not deplorable, just drastically different and uncomfortable compared to most American cribs. My sister, Crystal Smith and best friend, Tonya Luna are visiting me this August and neither have traveled to or lived in a developing country before. Knowing this, I have started reflecting on all of the things that I found shocking, different, and extremely uncomfortable the first time I moved to a developing country, Kenya.  I am writing this post simply to ease their fears and answer their questions as well as give you all a look into my living conditions. 

My casita (little house)

First of all, I do not live in a dirt walled hut with a straw thatch roof (although, I did for a few weeks in Kenya, once) but in Nicaragua, I thankfully have a concrete one room house with a metal zinc roof, tile floor, wooden door, and wooden window. The window has no glass or screen. The door has no screen but has a very sturdy lock and no door handle on the outside limiting the possibility of a break in. The concrete walls do not reach the roof. This is specifically designed to increase air flow since it is always hot here. Fortunately in my new house, there are screens between the roof and walls which keep bats from getting in at night. Hooray!

Laundry, I do it by hand and do not have a washing machine. They do exist here but my family does not have one. We do have a lavendero which is a big cement sink outside that has a built in cement washboard. Using the laundry detergent here which comes as a bar of soap, I get my clothes wet using a bowl to scoop water out of the the pila (water storage) and wet my clothes, then I scrub them with the bar soap and scrub them even harder on the cement wash board. Followed by rinse, wring, and hang on the line in the sun to dry. Then repeat with next item of clothing.

Mosquito net. Up above, screened gaps

Let’s talk about bugs. I live in Central America. It is hot. It is tropical. It is has a very diverse as well as sizable population of bugs. No doubt, do these annoying and hideous creatures serve a purpose in this ecosystem, which I accept. However, I have yet to figure out the purpose of mosquitos anywhere in the world other than being blood-sucking, deadly disease spreading jerks.  As stated before my house does have screens between the walls and roof however, these screens only keep the bats out at night and some larger beetles. Nevertheless most creepy critters still find their way in and as of Friday morning, a scorpion (uh em, A**HOLE) entered my humble abode. Also, it seems to be that a lot of bugs bite here. Before I started wearing pants, socks, and shoes daily (which sucks because, it’s really hot), I was covered in bug bites of all different sizes and shapes despite my overuse of OFF. I hate wearing skirts now because people always comment on my battered legs. I love you Nicaragua but I DESPISE your bugs. Also, for more bug protection, I sleep under a mosquito net that I keep tucked beneath my mattress 24/7. This may be paranoid but, I refuse to give scorpions and tarantulas an all access pass to my bed or even a one-time ticket.

A little crowded

Transportation: hot, crowded, and uncomfortable, period. A lot of the public transport buses here are old, yellow school buses from the USA. During certain hours, these get filled like a can of sardines. So in addition to being squeezed into a child-size seat with other people, there is also people smooshed together standing in the hallways of the bus. As my friend and fellow PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer), Kiron once observed on a bus, “This guy is totally humping my shoulder!” Indeed it is an unpleasant picture of an awkward situation. FYI to all future visitors, your bubble space will be invaded but please come anyway. I promise you that the beaches, active volcanoes, canyon, and islands are well worth getting your shoulder humped.  Furthermore, I also promise you that I know enough Spanish to be an adequate tour guide!

Defecation; a disgusting but necessary part of life that must be addressed. Fortunately, I have a sometimes flushing toilet which means when the water is running which thankfully is every morning and evening at my house, the toilet flushes. However, when there is no running water, like in my training family’s house, you have to get a bucket, fill it with water, then pour the water down the toilet bowl until all contents flush. This had to be done for every “event” at my training family’s home, and “larger events” required 2 buckets of water. They also had to be retrieved from the well out back and brought into the house, so when someone was bringing in 2 buckets of water… we all knew what that meant! LOL. However, latrines are common in public places and more people have latrines than toilets in rural areas so don't be surprised if that is the only option. Also, toilet paper and soap are not ubiquitous here. Another recommendation is to always have them with you. Before you rethink visiting, remember, there are smoking volcanoes jutting out of a gigantic lake filled with the world's ONLY freshwater sharks! C'mon, that totally outweighs, the lack of toilet paper. Toughen up and visit!

Something that surprised me is how quickly I am adjusting. I believe that it is easier if you accept all the new changes and learn to live a different way without comparing it to what you're accustomed to. For example, if every time I hand-washed my clothes or dishes, I thought about how much easier it would be to throw them into a washing machine, I would turn sour and go nuts. Essentially, my life is very “normal” here like back home. I walk to work at 8 am daily Monday through Friday, cook, even bake (ie, I made onion-herb beer bread today, yum!), clean, surf the internet, chat with my nica family, neighbors, and friends, and play with my kitten. Yes, a washing machine, dish washing machine, glass-screened window and screen door would be nice but are not necessary. Things are just things that don’t make a life great or give it meaning. My experience doing work I enjoy and getting to know the wonderful people in my site greatly outweigh the conveniences of the good ol’ USA. Honestly, the only things I am really missing back home are the things that mean the most to me; my family, friends, and (as predicted) two unforgettable, adorable pups, Dexyboo and BooBear.   

If these were your dogs, 

you'd miss them too! 

Beautiful Things About Nicaraguan Culture

Leaving everything you know for everything you don’t is very difficult but totally worth it. Four months ago, I arrived in Nicaragua not knowing what to expect, except for heat and beans. Both of which I get plenty of and love most of the time. Having never been to a Latin American country before and speaking unbearably poor Spanish, I was a mix of complete fear and overwhelming excitement! Fear for not fitting in, doing something offensive culturally and excitement for seeing, learning about, and living in an entirely new place and culture. Obviously, as I am currently writing this under the strong Nicaraguan sun, excitement prevailed. Thankfully, I have had the privilege to live among families in Nicaragua to learn more about their culture, food, traditions, and customs. As a result, I would like to share some of the beautiful things about Nicaraguan culture that have warmed my heart and opened my eyes to a new way of life, my new way of life in Nicaragua.

-Open door policy: If people are awake, their doors are open.  Everyone here keeps their doors wide open for two reasons I’ve observed, to let cool air in and invite visitors. Here strangers, acquaintances, even vendors are welcomed into the house or at the very least offered a chair on the front porch, chatted up, and often times offered coffee or a refreshment.  It is very kind and no one seems to be annoyed or bothered by the presence of door to door vendors or friends/family stopping by daily to chat.

-Free food, coffee, and frescos (delicious freshly made juice with lots of sugar): Nicaragua is the 2^nd poorest country (1^st is Haiti) in the western hemisphere, and yet no matter how poor the people are if you enter their house, you are welcomed like family and offered free food, frescos, and always coffee.  Also, you can’t feel bad or like a burden if you accept, because it is taken as an insult if you deny these offerings.  In training we were taught to tell long excuses in Spanish in case we are offered something we don’t want or eat. For example, I can’t drink a lot of caffeine because it makes me nauseous, therefore when offered, I say I can only drink a little because of caffeine makes me sick and usually people understand and pour me a little bit or offer me fresco instead. It is for this reason, that I am no longer vegetarian because when offered half of a chicken and beef (beef is very expensive and hence a really special treat when offered) I ate it out of respect and a desire to make a good first impression.  I consider this a small to price to pay for building strong relationships in my site. Also, these animals were not tortured than slaughtered in a factory farm like USA meat.

-Family style: Family comes first here, period. Work, friends, personal ambition, wealth, all are secondary concerns. Also, extended families mostly live together on a compound where multiple smaller houses will be on the same plot of land and communal spaces like outdoor bathrooms and kitchens are shared by all.  

Honestly, I feel very lucky to have been sent to such a gorgeous country filled with generous people. However, I have to admit that there are times when I feel confused, dumbfounded, and even frustrated by cultural clashes. In these moments, keeping an open mind and open heart serve me well. Despite the challenges of adapting to a new culture, there is no denying the unique and life-changing impact from this experience.

Training Highs and Lows

Last week, a lifelong goal of mine came true, I swore in as an official Peace Corps volunteer!  After 3 months of training which included 6 days of classes per week mostly 8 hour day Spanish classes, I am finally an official volunteer and have moved into my site. I feel very fortunate to have a site that was my first choice and even more spoiled to have a kitchen with gas stove and OVEN!!! No more cooking on the wood stove for me! Btw, I’ve found all essential pie ingredients, however if you would like to send me nutmeg, chocolate, green tea, chai tea, or any kind of tea, please feel free to do so! 

Upon crossing over into volunteer-hood, I feel the need to reminisce on training highs and lows for those of you interested in joining the Peace Corps or just curious about the process. 

Highs:

-Homestay family: really helps with language and learning about local culture

-Spanish classes: absolutely essential for learning Spanish as well as local vocabulary and accent

-Some technical classes (classes about health, development, and Nica society): not all were highs

-Volcano Masaya trip! I suggest you go; you can drive straight up to the crater and take an edgy hike around the brim of the craters

-Practicum week (a week where we observe volunteers in their work): super busy but we went to the BEACH in Corrinto so that made up for all the stress!

-Site Placement: I got the site I wanted so it would be ridiculous not to include this as a major HIGH!

-Site visit: I was beyond excited to see my new home, spent the week with an old friend, and met a lot of counterparts and potential collaborators for work like local NGOs, the casa materna, and health posts in the surrounding communities.

-Hiking up a local Somoto peak with some youth! Got to see a gorgeous semi-ariel view of the city that will be my home away from home for the next 2 years!

-Swearing In weekend in Managua: a few friends and I danced ALL night in a Managua night club, than lazed around by a pool the next day only to have sushi and sangria for dinner the following night… a Posh Corps weekend indeed that will only be repeated on rare occasions seeing as that our salaries are low low low.

Lows:

-Feeling like a child again in your host family because they cook and clean for you and you are a 25 year old with a curfew again

-some technical sessions that were repeated or on just on Saturday mornings lol

-Fishbowl feeling in my tiny training town which will hopefully be alleviated by living in a city now

-Always being around the same people, classes all day with the same group of people gets old 


Thankfully, I have more highs than lows for training and am optimisitc that my service will produce the same results. 

Somoto Lovin'

Last week, I visited my site, Somoto, Madriz (the place where I will be living and working for the next 2 years) and fell in love with it! When we received our site list, there were 9 options and after reviewing Somoto’s description I knew I wanted it, then after reviewing the rest, I wanted it even more. I wanted Somoto, not only for its location (mountains, department capital, easy access to highway for traveling, and a sweet canyon nearby for swimming and hiking) but also for the focus of the work there, more sexual and reproductive health and an opportunity to work with at risk youth in poorer neighborhoods of the city. That being said, I waited anxiously for 2 weeks to find out my site since Peace Corps Nicaragua chooses it for you. And when I opened my neatly wrapped site packet and saw SOMOTO!!! I cheered and actually cried tears of joy!

This photo is of Somoto from the top of a local peak that we hiked up with some of the local youth.  

To make the story even sweeter, I am actually replacing a friend of mine.  Five years ago, I studied abroad in Nairobi, Kenya and befriended another American girl in my program.  She came to Nicaragua in 2010 and was placed in Somoto.  After 2 years, her Peace Corps service is up and she will be leaving Somoto in April, when I begin my 2 year service there. Not sure, how often friends replace friends in the Peace Corps but I have a hunch that this is rare. Last week during my site visit, she was an excellent guide and introduced me to a lot of great NGOs I can work with, the casa materna, the city Mayor, and the health centers where I will working as well as friends and some of the youth that I will working with also.

First day, we met with a local NGO that took us out to rural communities including all indigenous community to see some of the work and possible options for further work.  This community was formed after all of their houses and belongings were destroyed by a flood. Therefor this Nicaraguan organization built new homes for the people as well as a craft center where the women can create pottery and other crafts for selling to bring in income for their families. An Irish NGO, which I will be working with, built their first and only school. One of the most striking moments of my visit was my trip to the neighborhood where over half the families are missing latrines therefore they just go outside and people are living in houses made from sticks, plastic sheeting, and cardboard.  I’ve seen these living conditions before in the slums of Kenya but was still shaken by seeing this on the outskirts of a small, tranquil city like Somoto.  However, I am very excited to work with the youth there since some attend an afterschool center called Los Quinchos where they learn trades that will help them earn more money as adults and hopefully break out of the cycle of poverty.  I also visited a couple other NGOs in Somoto and a couple health posts in the outlying communities.  One thing is for sure, I will be busy, busy and I’m happy about that. There is definitely no shortage of work or need there.  Some of the plastic and cardboard houses that need latrines.
 We did it!

This photo is of Somoto from the top of a local peak that we hiked up with some of the local youth. 

Everyone including my new family were very welcoming, kind, and all asked “Are you Nicaraguan or latina?” because of my sun tanned skin.  Funny considering how pale I am when I live in cloudy Seattle versus here.  My new home is adorable! I have a one room casita (small house) with a covered porch and a teeny kitchen that has a mini fridge and gas stove/oven!!! So excited about this since I will be cooking for myself. The shower and bathroom is outside but it is an actual showerhead so when the water is on, I will not be taking a bucket bath. I am so spoiled and so thankful about it.

I move to Somoto for good on April 1^st and will keep you updated on my work and life there. Until then, I highly suggest that you google Somoto, Madriz, Nicaragua or even the Somoto Canyon so you can see for yourself how beautiful it is here. 

Confronting my biggest fear… while naked

Last Tuesday morning, the power was out again. My house is made of concrete and has no paint so despite having windows it is still very dark inside our house during the day. That being said, I got up, got a bucket of water from the well in the back, which my host mother complemented wonderfully with a small pot of boiling hot water so its not freezing, then headed to the bathroom to take a bucket bath like I do every morning. However, this morning a hopefully rare surprise awaited me. As usual I scoped the bathroom for spiders, scorpions, rats and cock roaches. Seeing none in the dark, I de-robed, hopped in and began to lather up.  I squat in the shower to prevent lot of splashing since the shower curtain has holes in it. It is important to mention the squatting since my delicate parts were close to the floor in this vulnerable position. So while naked, squatting, and soapy, I see something crawl quickly to my side, inches away from my right foot. I look over and see a TARANTULA bigger than my fist!!!!!  Without thinking, I screamed and jumped over the toilet, slipped on the floor since I’m soapy remember.  As I’m about to open and run out the door, I realize, “Holy shit, I’m naked!!!” So I have to grab my robe which is now eerily close to the tarantula that is crawling its way up the wall. That being said, I grab my robe, shake it vigorously (in case he has friends hanging out in there), and wrap it around me. Then I run to my room grab my super-size can of RAID and RAID bomb the shit out this monster.  Imagine a mushroom cloud of raid. There is no way, I’m not getting cancer because of this. Despite the Raid bomb, this damn thing still lives and slowly creeps its way out of the bathroom. It’s obviously struggling so I stomp on it. Then my host mom walks by and stomps on it again to make sure its dead.

The funny thing is I did not realize or did not want to admit that I had just bathed with my biggest fear, a fucking tarantula until my host mother said, “Pico caballo grande!” Finally, validation from the woman who constantly tells me that all the spiders in my room are small or skinny. Trust me, they’re neither. Furthermore, they call Tarantulas, Pico Caballos or horse biters here because when they bite horses, they paralyze them!  So yea, I had a dangerous tarantula in my bath, inches from my lady parts that could paralyze me with its venom. I can't think of worse place to bit by a tarantula than my lady bits. 

In other news, with the help of the sun, I accomplished an integration goal this weekend.  I got into a cab which happened to have 2 other Peace Corps volunteers in it that I do not know and they both thought I was Nicaraguan!!! That is of course until I opened my mouth and spoke Spanish in my distinctly American accent, lol. Oh Nicaragua, how I love you.