Awkward…

Throughout my five months here in Nicaragua I have encountered, caused, and been victim to plenty of awkward moments. I am still learning the Spanish language and have yet to learn the direct translation of the commonly used in the USA, English word, Awkward. Google translate and my Spanish dictionaries give me some translations but none are used by Nicas and used to mean other things here. Therefore, I and other PCVs I know have concluded that there is no direct translation for that awkward feeling that creeps up when things just are not right and you’re at a loss for words, but know that your friends will laugh when you tell them about your awkward moment or feel awkward themselves at your expense. The Nicaraguan Spanish vocabulary is in need of the word for awkward and my top 2 awkward moments prove it. Enjoy and please laugh along with me.

1.       After vomiting all night, experiencing massive stomach cramps, and watery stools, I assume I have a parasite and need to go to the laboratory to get a stool test done. I go to the lab for the test and submit my sample in the only bathroom there. The bathroom shares an entrance with the waiting room that is filled with sick people like me waiting to submit, urine tests, stool tests, or blood tests. Therefore coming out the bathroom, with a cup in a plastic bag eliminates the blood test option. Grossed out yet? Yes? Good. So right after I hand my stool sample off to the nurse, I sit down. A Nicaraguan man about my age, maybe younger is sitting beside me and he starts to hit on me. Really? You know what I just did and I know you’re in to get tested for something gross too. And you’re trying to get a date!?! Really?! Awkward!  To make this awkward moment even more special is the fact that he was wearing a white t-shirt with his own photo (stoic facial expression and all) printed on it. He looked better in the photo.
 
2.       First month of training. Spanish class in my homestay families living room and we are learning medical terms and slang terms for body parts in Spanish because we are health workers of course. In training, classes were in 100% Spanish also. Our Profe, says the phrase “La barba de Fidel.” Knowing that “barba” means beard, and knowing who Fidel Castro is, I assumed that she was talking about Fidel Castro’s hideous beard. So I innocently ask, “I don’t understand how men eat with those in way!?! How?” Immediately, my follow trainees bust our laughing and my profe’s face turns bright red. I sat there dumbfounded until my friend Alex was able to stop laughing hard enough to say “That is slang for, a woman’s big bush!” Realizing the horrible mistake I’ve made in Spanish, I bust out laughing until I cry while the feeling of awkwardness and mortification take over.
 
Hope you got a laugh out of these!